A One Handed Blog

I visted Hanger Orthopedic last week down in Pleasanton (Bay Area), my first visit in the process of getting fitted for a prosthetic. I meet with Richard Sire and went through what I hoped to get out of getting a prosthetic.

I’ve actually been pretty functional up until now, I’ve got full flexion back in my elbow, through the physical therapy I’ve been doing at Kaiser and at home with my wife. It certainly makes things a little tricky, only having one hand, but it doesn’t stop you getting on with life and my biggest concern is that a prosthetic would be more awkward than useful. I do miss the ability to put weight on my arm and I’d like to be able to ride a bike, do yoga and play guitar again, so I’m going to need some form of prosthetic.

I’ve started to compile a Kaboodle page on my research into upper limb prosthetics (better practice what I preach), as it turns out upper limb amputations aren’t that common, so whilst there’s a host of information on lower limb prosthetics there’s much less for upper ones. I was quite encouraged when I found the website for TRS, Inc., they offer specialist attatchments for upper limb prosthetics that allow you to do aerobics, play guitar, ride a bike and much, much more. So there’s hope for me yet!

It was so good to be home! After such an ordeal to finally be out of hospital and back at home was great. Having been away for over two months it almost felt like going into a stranger’s house when I arrived. Kerry and I like bright colours; our house is decorated yellow and red (as you can see from the picture). When I walked in the yellow seemed so bright and new…I guess hospitals can be such dull places.

Although I was home and progressing well I was still pretty weak and needed my dressings changed every day. The pain from my arm could be pretty intense at times and I was on oral pain medication to help control it. Providing I didn’t push myself to hard it was bearable. Long term nerve pain seems to be something many amputees learn to live with.

I arrived home on the Tuesday and got to go into work on the Thursday to see everyone at Kaboodle. So nice to spend a few hours with all my friends and catch up, they’d all been real busy building the next set of features into the site after our launch at Demo back in Feb, just before I left for my fated trip. I slowly started to get back into my job a couple of days a week initially…loosing a hand doesn’t stop me from programming or typing.

I was determined to get back to my normal life as quickly as possible and wasted no time meeting up with friends and going out, all be it slightly earlier in the evening that usual. In fact the Saturday night when I was let out from rehab for the weekend Kerry and I went to our local India restaurant, Masala. Being from the UK we love Indian food, back home it’s pretty close to being the national dish nowadays. Anyway, Masala opened up around the time we moved to Danville and we got to know the owners really well, Raj & Anu. This was my first trip out since the accident and we decided to pickup a takeout since we weren’t sure how comfortable I’d be sitting at a table for too long. Raj & Anu had heard I’d had an accident after phoning our house to check we were OK since we hadn’t been in for quite a while, but they didn’t know the details. Poor Anu was in tears when she saw us. It’s at times like this that you realize how much one’s life can impact others…pretty humbling.

Given the pain medication I couldn’t drink but that didn’t seem to stop everyone else and to a fault all my friends have been outstanding. One could easily imagine people treating you differently, awkward silences, stares; but that really hasn’t been the case. I feel it all comes down to your own state of mind; if you feel you’re disabled, or whatever, then that state of mind will be reflected and reinforced in how you perceive others see you. I didn’t let myself feel I was any different, I might as well of had a broken arm. I was also very matter of fact about what happened and certainly open to talking about it. I had an accident, I survived, you move on…as someone once said "that which doesn’t kill us just serves to make us stronger", or something along those lines anyway.

Those early weeks had their emotional times to as the two of us got to terms with what had happened and what the future was to hold. Having each other has been instrumental in getting through these times. I’ve been lucky in that I haven’t suffered from depression and I’ve made such a rapid and problem free recovery. Keeping a positive mental attitude and focusing on getting back to everyday life have been the drivers behind my recovery, and of course my lovely wife, Kerry!

Time for a little interlude…it was after my 12 hour surgery that I noticed a lump on the back of my head, it felt like I’d had one hell of a bang. I didn’t think too much of it at the time, there was plenty of other things vying for my attention after all, I put it down to being man-handled during the surgery. Anyhow it was a couple of days later that I was standing in my bathroom in the hospital room and noticed some hair on the toilet seat. Normally I keep my hair real short, with the accident it had grown to over an inch long and there on the toilet seat were inch long hairs (and not the curly variety).

Very strange I thought, so I shook my head and out dropped some more…so there I am, amputated hand, both legs bandaged up, hobbling around and now my hair starts falling out, I couldn’t help but laugh!

Over the following days hair continued to dropped out and a bald spot emerged on the back of my head, right where I felt it hand been banged during the surgery. I spoke to the doctors and they felt the lump was probably caused from being in surgery for 12 hours laying on the same spot (plus I’d been in bed for over a month by that time). So the theory was I’d worn my hair out.

By the time I got home another month later my bald spot was still there and after a decent hair cut you could see it in all it’s glory.

The good news is it’s slowly starting to grow back, so no permanent damage I hope, but makes for a fun story on top of everything else…you’ve got to laugh.